Someday

Well, I had these thoughts in the shower the other day, so...hopefully they will come out as coherently now as they were then...

I think I'll preface this w/ an explanation that I usually end up taking very lengthy showers. Bad for the environment and my roommate's water bill, I know, but I TRY to be speedy. However, have you SEEN the amount of hair I have?!?! So...with all the time I spend in there, I end up doing some thinking. Actually I've often thought there's just something about the bathroom that inspires deep thoughts and epiphanies. (Imagine the thoughts I have at the bar after several beers and I have to use the facilities. Whoo dawggies!)

Anyway...

Someday, somewhere, I will find him. HIM. The guy that I'll spend the rest of my life with. And he will love me for a million reasons. He won't just tolerate all my quirks, my idiosyncracies and the fact that I'm so picky about so many things--he'll think such things are cute or endearing and realize they are definitely what makes me, me. He will appreciate the little things I do for him, along with the big things. He'll think I'm beautiful 24-7, but he will definitely notice and comment on it when I make an effort to be beautiful. He'll get my sense of humor and laugh at me when it's appropriate. He'll be ok with the fact that I end up spending so much money on my hair b/c well, again, have you SEEN how much of it there is?! It's high maintenance. He'll acknowledge my intelligence and we'll have deep conversations, but he'll also revel in my silliness and allow me to be just ridiculous when I feel like it. He'll put up with the dumb stuff that I do, but will call me on my shit when I need it. He will give awesome backrubs. He will want to make love to me all the time (obviously, we couldn't do it all the time), so thus, we'll be very compatible in bed. (however, I do concede that you can't have amazing, mind-blowing sex 100% of the time, so I'm ok with having the amazing stuff when we can, and good sex for the other times). He will be intelligent and like to read. His love of music will rival my own. He'll want to take me out to fancy, pricey meals now and then, but will love the fact that some days all I want is to stay home, watch movies and have frozen pizza. He'll have a job he loves that pays him what he deserves, and he'll be happy with it. He'll be close to his family and have a group of friends he's close to as well. He'll like my friends and will "get" all that goes along with the whole Babes of South Ash deal and the rest of it. He will get along FABULOUSLY with my brother (b/c that is of utmost importance). He will be nice, but not so nice that he's a pushover--I can't have my way all the time and me being a manipulative bitch is NOT a good thing. He will be comfortable in his own skin, but not cocky. He will want kids, and more importantly, want to have them with me. He will think the fact that I'm a teacher is amazing and will respect that and me for my desire to work with kids. He'll baby me when I need it, pamper me when I need it, and give me a swift kick when I need it. To boil it all down, he will get me and get what I need/want.

And he's out there, right now, thinking that there is some wonderful blue-eyed blond woman he'd like to find who's smart, silly, etc, everything that I am.

This is what I keep telling myself, particularly on days when I'm feeling really utterly alone. On days when I think back to past relationships, and what was right about them (the guy and the relationship) and what was wrong (both, again). And eventually I'll move on from the one that I'm still trying to work through and get over. Someday I won't tear up thinking about it. About the fact that he's not this man that I've imagined (when I thought he was).

So, I keep thinking about the possibilities. And I keep convincing myself that this dream man DOES exist. Someday. Somewhere. Yup.