But it does. See, there was a part of me that really didn't want to move to AZ at all. Hot weather. Scary bugs. Hot weather. Far away from my home. But...I was considering it. And I was excited about it. The fact that I was considering it is damn monumental. That I cared/loved that much to move so far away from friends and family and everything that I've ever known?...super big deal. But apparently I get a big "fuck you" because you didn't want me. Yet you feel you can string me along. Well, a big fuck you right back.
Asshole. I don't want goddamn cactus to make me cry. I don't WANT to see an AZ license plate and get sad and pissed off all at the same time. I don't want to get pissy every time I hear about some sports team from AZ. But I can't help it. It all reminds me of you and it all fucking hurts. And yeah, so fucking what, I've had a few beers tonight. Big deal. I at least have friends that I can drink with. What did you get when you moved there, eh? Debt? A feeling that you're completely lost? More debt? The feeling you're being intrusive? A job and school that prevents a social life? Way to go! I'm sure you're really happy, eh?
You have no idea what you're missing out on. (yet, as I say/write this, I doubt myself & my worth b/c I'm buzzing & feeling pathetic). You don't. I know that I made you happy. I was good for you--I balanced you out. You're too dumb to know. So fuck you. Fuck. you.
Now, if I only I believed that 100%.
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