September 11th: 5 years ago...

My life is vastly different today than it was five years ago.

Today is the 5th anniversary of September 11th.

5 years ago I was a News Director for an AM radio station in the middle of my home-state. Actually, a station in the town where I'd gone to college.

Today, I'm essentially a case-worker/volunteer recruiter & coordinator for a non-profit organization.

5 years ago I did nothing BUT talk about the attacks of that day, ALL DAY LONG.

This morning the radio station I listen to the majority of the time was having a tribute & remembering that day, etc.

I was getting ready that morning when I heard about the 1st plane that had hit the towers. I turned on the TV in time to watch the 2nd plane hit the towers. That day passed in such a state of hyper surreality. As the News Director (and actually, the only member of the news staff at our tiny station), all I did all day long was get local reaction and interspersed that with the live CBS feed we broadcast all day.

I got completely shitfaced that night.

Now, five years later, I wonder if I still don't completely understand the impact 9/11 has had on our country. Strategic thinking is NOT one of my strengths--I hang out with the what-ifs, but most often I focus on the ones that are immediate and pressing. The future is a cloudy haze for me. And, the widespread web of effect is never clear.

I cursed my biggest strength today however--my empathy--as I was crying in the car on the way to work today. I'm feeling miserable about my own problems (which is a post for later this wk, ok?), but in comparison to those people who were directly affected by the attacks, my problems are nothing. Miniscule. Meaningless.

So, today, I'm trying to rise above my selfish tendencies and remember things I feel I ought to remember.

And today, if you do nothing else on the fifth anniversary of 9/11, please just take a moment to remember that day and how you felt. And why you felt that way.