Sad

Well, it's really over. Justin and I. It's over. And, since he couldn't do or say or decide anything, I did it. I told him good luck and goodbye. Then, I hung up the phone and burst into tears. And, I keep expecting him to call me, but he won't. Because he apparently can't do anything. It hurts that I'm not worth the effort. It hurts more than I can even describe. At least I'm not currently crying so hard that I'm a big snotball. I really hate that.

It will get better, right? Like, I'll stop feeling as if my heart is physically shaking in my chest and that I want to throw up? Those feelings will cease, won't they? And I won't feel as if I've lost something that I'm stupid to be losing? Can somebody tell me when that will happen? When I'll feel better? B/c I'm impatient to begin with, and feeling like this really really effing sucks.