I posted this on my other blog last night about 11:30...thought I'd re-post it here.
just under the surface
Current mood: tired
Category: Life
I am tired, but I'm also awake. I have that feeling that I've now become all too familiar with, the one where if I do settle myself down into bed, I'll lay there for an hour or more, thinking random or not-so-random thoughts.
I hate this feeing.
I hate being so slow to fall asleep. There are a few reasons for it--caffeine too late in the day, restlessness, worries about things I can't change, and sometimes even creativity.
However, the creativity eludes me during my full upright and awake hours. And it pisses me off.
Currently I'm LONGING, almost PINING to write a book. I got started on the very bare bones beginning of one, and then....nothing, nada, zip, zilch. It's like my character decided to stop calling me (as some men in my life have done--taken the chickenshit way out and just avoid communication. Man, that always pisses me off.) So, I have no more for the moment. I'm just waiting till more inspiration and ideas show back up.
In the meantime I kinda have another beginning, but it's only one sentence. And, it's floating around in my head and isn't ready to be put to paper yet. Or, in reality, put to computer screen. I think that I have become one of those people who writes at the computer. After over a year of blogging, my personal handwritten journal sits neglected and half used. However, one ex of mine would tell you that's a good thing. That if I'm not writing incessantly in my journal, things must be going well.
He could be right. I wrote in 3 or 4 different journals during the brief year that was our relationship. About 3/4 of that year our relationship was a functioning one. The other 1/4 we pretended and played stupid games. We're so much better off as friends.
Anyway...lately I haven't even had anything to blog (until now, tonight, w/ this whiny diatribe about how my brain is empty & my creative fire has gone out). So, I've been posting stupid blogthings on this blog AND my other every day blog.
It pisses me off. I WANT to have something to write. I just don't. And until I do, I guess I'm just going to go read crappy (and maybe not so crappy books). And listen to my cds in my ever growing collection (I'm way past 200 now...oy)
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3 comments:
I must admit the same thing happens to occasionally. Recently, it's been going on a lot more than I care to admit.
I remember when all I did was write little notes to myself, and take down words that I liked and I'd scribble something on a sticky note or when I carried a notebook with me all the time. I don't know where that version of me has gone off to but I miss her. Especially now.
When I am feeling overwhelmed and blank, a weekend adventure away from everything usually gets my head cleared and the creativity comes flowing back. Not that you have to escape for an entire weekend, but maybe pick something you have never done or seen and go for the day and enjoy some new scenery. It always seems to help me.:)
As far as your writing goes, girl, I say just start writing. I get blocks when I'm trying to get my characters to do something... so take your guy and make him do something. See if it works. Maybe he'll take you for an imaginary drive and something will click. Or maybe his story just needs to germinate... I've had ideas in my head for weeks now and just yesterday they started to flow... hope that happens with you!
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